Political Fun Fact

I thought it interesting that Joe Biden's Grandfather's name was O'biden when he came over from Ireland. Oh, yea. Totally true. It's on the Internet (or at will be in a second).
Obama
O'biden
'O8

Soup

Do you believe in animal magnetism? Well, I disagree with you. Unless you answered yes. My cabin is a bear magnet. When I told Steve G about the third and final (I hope) bear break-in he asked, "Do you rub peanut butter on your door and sprinkle dog food around the cabin?" I said that I used lard instead of peanut butter but that I thought it should work just as well. But of course that was just the facetious banter of a couple of old veterans laughing in the face of tragedy. I don't put food of any variety on the cabin door and I suspect Steve knew it before he posed the question. The bear destroyed almost every food thing in the cabin. He spilled margarita mix and then dipped his paws in it. Then he walked outside and let the dirt cover his sticky paws and re-entered the cabin, climbed onto the sink and stove and inside the refrigerator. The bear did not eat everything, he merely spilled, spoiled and mutilated everything. Somehow he managed to poke a hole in a bottle of mustard without knocking it over (either that or he put back the bottle, upright, on its shelf after poking the hole and knocking it over).

The food items that I will miss the most include a can of Hood River Peaches, Ibarra Mexican chocolate, a couple pounds of sugar and a container of Armor brand lard (for a flaky pie crust). I will not miss the Peter Pan peanut butter. Laurie was upset when she heard of the demise of all but the Folgers coffee. Thanks to Kim and William for bringing sugar (for the delicious cobbler Laurie made) and coffee.

A couple of other things:
The bear left a gift of his excrement behind the cabin. I say "gift" because it was outside the cabin and not inside. Diego the chihuahua did his part to prevent further visits by peeing on the black pile of poo and also peeing all around the area where the bear took the food out to eat at his leisure. We watched from the kitchen window as Diego would sniff, pee, vigorously scratch the ground with his back feet, move a foot or so and repeat. Good dog.

Opening

Luke talking about the work while Nate thinks he's leaning out of the picture.

Fans.

Another fan. I call this one "Kate."

Really important interview.

Chicago

On the way to Chicago I had a stop over in Salt Lake City where the people entering the plane looked like characters in a movie about christian conservatives. The women dressed in clothes that would only look feminine if worn by men. Young couples walked in surrounded by hundreds of kids all under the age of 5 and with names like Hezekiah, Esther and Chastity. Neatly trimmed mustaches boarded the plane followed closely by pale white men. 

And now we are all in Chicago.

If you happen to be in Chicago October 17th, stop by Rhona Hoffman Gallery for our (New Catalogue) opening.

Night Fox

I saw this fox again a couple days ago at 9:30 in the morning walking down a sidewalk in Boise (5th and Bannock). I am pretty sure it is the same fox because this little vixen is pretty big for a fox - about the size of a small coyote. She also has that hunched over, tucked-tail look evident in the above photograph.

For a Free Copy of Your

sticker please send me $15.00 plus shipping and handling.
If he loses I'll change it to say, "I Voted for the Black Guy," or, "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for the Black Guy."

New Coke with Salt

A fellow with a bigger and older beard than mine ( my beard is 1 this week!) is sitting at the counter of a café salting his coke a cola.

And thus my great American novel begins. But where do I go from here? Maybe the above is the beginning of my mediocre American short story.

The first sentence of this post is mostly true and maybe entirely so. I am not sure if his caramel colored drink was actually Coke. His salt and pepper (mostly salt) beard was huge. The teenage waitress, upon seeing him salt his soda, said, "You sure like your salt. I do too, but maybe not as much as you."

One more thing: I was planning a beard day party in honor of my hairy face but as you know, the road to hell is paved with party plans. In other words, just uttering, "Beard Day Party," was enough to satisfy that desire.

Dinner

I am writing this so we wont have to look at the home canned tuna. Not that it doesn't look delicious because it does and last night I ate some for the first time. I am fairly confident that this morning's diarrhea had nothing to do with last nights tuna.



It was really good.

Tuna

I've gotten heavily into canning. So far I have canned almost a pound of tuna. That makes three small jars. I know what you're thinking: Yum. I hope you're right. The tuna I chose was the cheap (15.95lb) albacore variety. I wanted the yellow fin but that was 26.95 per lb. So, this is not a money saving proposition. I suspect it would even be less so if I caught the fish myself - license, fishing gear, charter boat, etc - unless I caught one of those famed million dollar blue fin.

Potatomistake

How can I tell if my potato is ready? This one is soft. Really soft. And it has purple antlers.

You notice something fishy about these herefords? Ok, maybe not fishy but elky?



Here he is standing next to his friends. Someone told me that he moved in with the steers a couple months ago.

Did anybody else happen to catch the chicken staring contest at the fair this year?

Sarah

Did you hear Sarah Palin's comment about hockey moms and pit bulls? She said, "I love hockey moms. 'You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick." A gross generalization if you ask me. Not all pit bulls wear lipstick. I had one and she never wore lipstick.
On a related note, if lipstick is one word why is pit bull two words? Or, why are pit bull two words?

Freedom

You can't beat it. I know what you're thinking. Where are the helmets? If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times. Helmet laws suck.

Did you hear that Obama actually considered Nader as a possible running mate? Yeah, it's true, but the Obama-Nader (say it out loud) t-shirts and bumper stickers did poorly with test groups.


Thank you. I'm here all week.

You successfully sent 386 invites.

I don't know how but I just sent 386 people invites to Good Reads. I'm a little embarrassed because I must have sent them to friends and friends of friends. I know what you're thinking. "Why did I not get an invite?" I'm not sure why that is. Sorry.
I am pretty sure I do not know 386 people. I am sure I don't like that many people (unless celebrities count). But I do like you. To be honest, which is not always a good idea, it's not your personality, it's your looks.

This is also embarrassing because I've only read about 7 or 8 books.

Another Bear or the Bear Again

A few nights after my bear visit, Diego, the chihuahua, woke me up barking (or crowing like a rooster). I turned on a flashlight and watched while a bear tip-toed into the lake, waded out into deeper water and swam away. Then I went back to sleep.

The photo is by Ryan McGinley

Who Shot Thomas?

My sister's dog Thomas was shot by an unknown assailant, most likely a player-hater or a republican. I suggest the latter because republicans have guns. Thomas was shot in the shoulder, which is a popular target when shooting deer, so the perp was likely a hunter, which does not rule out his/her being a republican. Thomas may loose his leg. Thomas, by the way, is one of the most benevolent beings I have come across so it is unlikely he did something that warranted being shot like barking or something like that.

For you republicans, I am also a republican so don't take the above as an attack.

For those of you who are not republicans, neither am I.

Bears and Beards

My sister’s dog Thomas likes to sleep in the most centrally located spot of a given house so he can check on everyone in the most expeditious manor. I sleep out on the front deck so Thomas has to come outside to smell me and look at me periodically. A few nights ago, I heard someone get up and shut all the doors so I was on my own. Diego was in my sleeping bag but no more Thomas checking on us. But a while after the doors closed I was checked on again. When I opened my eyes I was greeted by a mid-sized (late model) black bear – or a silhouette thereof. His silhouetted face was getting closer to my face when I said, “Hey dude.” As you might imagine, that scared him away. He ran around the cabin and stopped on the other side of my bed. I shined a flashlight at him and he ran away, maybe toward your cabin.




In other news, I have been reintroducing myself to people that I have known all my life. The beard is a pretty effective disguise. It also works if I do not feel like talking to someone. Some people, Carl for example, are very free with their opinions about the beard saying things like, “Get rid of that beard,” or “get rid of that gross beard.” I usually tell them give it time. It’ll grow on you. It did on me.

Mother Son Roadtrip

I have been Internetless while driving to California.
I picked up my mom in Golden Colorado and from there we drove to Steamboat Springs to visit my cousin. I wont go on too much about that but I will throw out a few talking points (because that's what my cousin did). I'll start with the non controversial and progress to the more controversial: He lives near a lovely river. We fly-fished. He feeds raccoons dog food. Caribou like oil fields for the warmth so if we really want to help them we will create more oil fields in the arctic. Polar bears are doing better than ever because of climate change - it turns out that, like Caribou, Polar bears like it warmer too. There was also something about the poles freezing over again this year - bad news for the wildlife that evolved there I guess.

After two nights in Steamboat we headed for home, keeping our eyes out for Pronghorn and any other wildlife. Mom was disappointed with the lack of wildlife so far so I pulled up to a small herd of male antelope to shut her up. We also saw a roadkill moose. Mom pointed out a lot of birds that turned out to be bird-shaped spots in front of her eyes.

The trip went well until I foolishly attempted to parallel park in front of mom's house. In my mother's eyes only the women in our family can parallel park. The actual foolish act was when, after she criticized my parking, I pointed out that I have never parallel parked in front of the house (with her in the car) without criticism. That ruined the entire trip for her.