Saturday, May 28, 2011

Don't Stand so Close to Me

While I was reading a magazine at a bookstore a middle aged (70ish) woman walked up and stood with her considerable bottom a few inches from my considerable nose. A conversation that I would not actually start went through my head. It started with, "Please don't fart, please don't fart, please don't fart." Then, in this silly fantasy, granny gave me a withering look. To which I replied, "Sorry, I just know it can be hard to hold your farts at your age." It was at about that time when the fantasy turned to reality. She farted. I thought I was mistaken until she farted again. She farted a third time and took her leave. I suppose the words, "be careful what you wish for or you might just get it," apply to this situation. Or maybe what my dad used to say would be even more applicable: "Be careful what you make up about a strange lady in a bookstore or she just might fart in your face."


jenny said...

Thank you for enduring this nightmare while I got a pedicure.

Anonymous said...

So that was you. Why didn't you respond to my coded messages?

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