Monday, October 31, 2005

Okay Karaoke

I had actually never done karaoke before Friday and not just because it is hard to find the Fat Boys, Pearl Bailey and whatever else I said that I am partial to singing. Most people have to be pretty drunk to sing Karaoke; well, I do not drink. So when people say “I’ll do it but I have to be drunk,” I agree, “I’ll do it too, but you have to be drunk.”

Saturday, October 29, 2005


When it comes to Karaoke, I have a few requirements:
I always bring my own microphone; a headset mic like Madonna and Brittney Spears use. That way my hands are free to play air guitar and for some of the more complex dance moves. Also, I am fussy about the songs I will sing. Two songs I am particularly fond of singing are, “A Man is a Necessary Evil,” by Pearl Bailey and “In Jail,” by the Fat Boys. I enjoy the challenge of "being" each Fat Boy: Mark “Prince Markie Dee” Morales, Daren “Buff the Human Beat Box” Robinson, Damon “Kool Rock Ski” Wimbley.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Famous People are Great

Yesterday I saw the "meat guy" from Strangers With Candy. He was Jerri Blank’s stepmother’s lover. Other famous people I have seen include Kristen Johnston or Johnson from Third Rock from the Sun, Harvey Keitel from various movies, John Baldisarri from the art world, Ken Fandell – also from the art world. If you are famous and left out of the list but know that I have seen you, please do not take it personally; perhaps I am just not a fan. It is important to me to see famous people or to know people who know famous people or to know people who know people who know famous people. It makes me feel close to greatness. I can regale my friends for minutes with stories like how a friend of a friend walked her dog with Kevin Bacon and his dog.

Monday, October 24, 2005

This Week's Social Calender, for last week

Social events in Chicago that, if you weren’t there, you probably missed: A party with a real live DJ - times 2!! Where was it? Wouldn’t you like to know? I’ll give you a hint – West Grand Ave, upstairs. Who threw it? Nice try. When was it? S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y - night. And the night before that; an intimate get together of sophisticates, intellectuals and academics in honor of yours truly.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Like you, I am a loser

I must be one of the 295,734,130 unluckiest people in the country! Why me, I mean us? Once again I lost the lottery (Powerball) - I mean we. This time the stakes were much higher, $340 million. That money was going to go a long way toward my early retirement. If I had never played the lottery and if I had kept the money I would have somewhere around $5.00. And if I did the smart thing and invested that $5.00, at %2 APR - I would have a little more than $5.00 in a few years.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Personality Test

I do not usually do this but I found this personality test that is amazingly accurate. It doesn’t even have questions, just multiple choices. Some of the choices seem unrelated but once you see how the test is evaluated it will all make sense. Well, I’ll just let you take it and then later I will tell you how to evaluate it.


A. Ford Ranger
B. Toyota Tacoma
C. Chevy S10


A. Labrador
B. Pit Bull
C. Pug


A. Law & Order
B. Law & Order: Criminal Intent
C. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit


A. Winter
B. Summer
C. Sourdough Pancakes


A. African American
B. Black
C. Negro


A. A. Hitler
B. W. Wordsworth
C. D. Earnhardt


A. Igneous
B. Metamorphic
C. Sedimentary


A. Fall Colors
B. Snow
C. Thunder Storms


A. Damian Hearst
B. Patty Hearst
C. Tracy Emin


A. Wedgwood
B. Waterford
C. Spode

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Told you I was older than you, or did I say richer?

I am in the midst of the last week of my 30s. Is there something that one can do in his thirties that he cannot do in his forties? If so, let me know fast so I can do it. Someone recently told me one thing - what was it - oh yeah, see. The film department secretary told me that her eyesight declined when she turned 40. The possibility of an eye-test crossed my mind while I waited all morning at the DMV. I did not find out if I needed one though because I had to leave before my number was called.

Monday, October 17, 2005

I'm speechless

Not frostless.

A.J.'s Birthday

Happy birthday (yesterday) A.J. Happy shoulder surgery too.

Saturday, October 15, 2005


While driving to Chicago Wednesday night, it suddenly hit me that Robert is no longer part of my daily (weekly, monthly) life. Even though he is old enough to be, Robert is not like the father I never had. In some respect, even though he is too old, he is like the son I never had. I feel like a deadbeat dad. Not really, I just miss him.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


When it comes to karaoke I have a few requirements:
I always bring my own mic – I’m not risking a case of bird flu (H5N1) for the pleasure of singing a few songs.
And I only sing certain songs: Big Papa by the Notorious B.I.G.; anything by Sinatra (the RCA years), and You Remind Me of My Jeep by R. Kelly.
I like the beginning when Mr. Kelly sings:
“You remind me of my jeep
Girl you look just like my car
Something like my bank account . . .”
If a lady is not flattered by those sentiments then maybe the lady isn't worth the trouble.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

My Neighbor

My upstairs neighbor plays the drums and does not sleep. He is up at all hours. I mentioned this to Luke who said, “Maybe he works all day.” What’s the opposite of graveyard shift? Playground? "You'll have to forgive my noisy neighbor, he works the playground shift." Even though it makes no sense, that was my first thought too, “Gee, that guy is up all night, maybe he works during the day.”
He also plays bass and maybe guitar and drags heavy objects across his floor.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Hurricanes, Earthquakes, Wars, Teaching

This morning I woke up in a melancholy mood and then I turned on the radio: one disaster after another – I hadn’t heard about Stan until this morning.
Meanwhile in Iraq, Ann Garrels, on NPR, was asked about the recent slow down in violence. She mentioned that five men were found this morning, handcuffed and with a single bullet to their heads. She said, “That’s a daily occurrence in these parts my man,” (not in those words). It reminded me of the months after September 11 when I’d turn on the radio and hear about nothing but the threat of terrorism and other related stories. Even on Fresh Air. I couldn’t wait to hear something as mundane as a critique of a television show.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

$140.00 Bike Ride

Luke and I went out with our Eddy Merckx bicycles to the Great Western Trail. We unloaded the bikes from the truck and I stuck my wallet, keys, and spare key (it was in the wallet) in the glove compartment. Then I locked the door. Then I called a locksmith. The first locksmith that directory assistance hooked me up with was not even in the same state as my locked truck. The second one was not happy with my description of our location. He repeatedly asked for an address. I repeatedly told him that there was no address, we are in a parking lot for a trail. Eventually he agreed to send a locksmith. He said 20 minutes; we waited about an hour and called a different locksmith. This one kept saying, “What part of Chicago did you say you were in.” I thought I made it clear that we ware not in Chicago. He said that a locksmith would call me and that it was very important that I answer the phone. I am still waiting for that call. I tried AAA but the first locksmith finally called and interrupted that call. So he came, asked me if I was clear on the price. I said, yes $55.00. He said it was $55.00 for the service call and $89.00 to unlock the door. My silent question was, “What service does the $55.00 cover?” Who would ever pay a locksmith to come and not unlock the car? “Hey thanks for looking. So I was right, it is locked isn’t it?”

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Have you read the news?

I was just talking with a good friend about self-promotion and the difficulties some of us have with it. It feels like bragging and when you are as awesome we are, bragging seems redundant. I know what you're saying; there is some truth in sarcasm. Please do not read sarcasm in that sentence.
But my point is that thanks to you our book is number one.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Film Criticism

When the film, "E.T." came out I was among the first few hundred thousand to see it. I went with my brother and sister-in-law at the Del Oro theatre in Grass Valley, California. After the film and much blubbering, my sister- in-law said, "That was better than 'The Graduate'," and she loved "The Graduate." Maybe it was the special effects (kids flying on bicycles) in E.T. that knocked "The Graduate" off of its throne.

I tried to find an article comparing "E.T." with its predecessor, “The Graduate” but failed.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Happy Birthday

On October 4, 1926, my father was born.
A few years later, on October 4 (I wont say the year), the artist and personal friend of mine, Pam Larson was born.

I Have Always Relied on the Kindess of Friends

Although I am richer than I’ve ever been; before I could finish writing that sentence I realized that the richest I’ve ever been was the summer before I went to college; I did not have much money but I had no dept. (Do two semi-colons make a colon?). But my thesis remains the same. Although I have a higher paid job than I’ve ever had, I do not have any money. I do not want to get in to the particulars because talking about salary and such is crass. I will just say that I make more money than you, you, and you, but not you, you or you either. If not for the kindness of friends I would be embarking on a lean and miserable month. Thanks friends.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Best Seller

Our book, Big Ten Co-eds, Preppy Girls and the Lost Cheerleaders, is a top ten seller at Photo Eye Book Store. And it hasn’t even come out yet.