New Years Eve at Bob and Alice’s

I do not spend a lot of time in bars (ha, ha, LOL). But really, I do not spend much time in bars, nor do I use abbreviations such as LOL. December 31st was an exception. I spent a few hours at a neighborhood bar called Bob and Alice’s (with another Alice). When we walked into the bar, the clientele were counting down the New Year and yelling “Happy New Year,” and Auld Lang Syne was playing on the jukebox. It was 8:15 PM. I was, of course, wearing a tuxedo. Several men in the bar told me they appreciated my bringing class into the bar. One of the same men told me, at a distance of two or three inches, that “if anyone messes with the bartender they will end up in the trashcan.” Then he pointed to the biggest guy in the bar and said, “See that guy? He’s got me by 100 – 120 pounds, he may be able to knock me down but he will end up in the trashcan.” The entire time he talked to me I could feel the gentle mist of his spit as it landed on and around my lips. Once I felt a plop of spit land on my leg. Another man told me about deep-sea fishing with Earnest Borgnine and Lee Marvin. The premise of that story was that the two actors could drink a lot without appearing drunk, which was more than I could say about the people I met on New Years Eve.